Missing the Hugs

I saw this posted on Facebook a while ago, ‘You need four hugs a day for survival, eight for maintenance and ten for growth.’ My chances of survival must now be very slim.

I woke up this morning feeling the stress, as usual, throughout my body, and the thought in my head that all I wanted was a hug. If only he was there to put his arms around me. A hug from my lovely husband was always the best cure if I was feeling worried or stressed. It was the one thing that was always guaranteed to make me feel calm and relaxed. Now I think that I will never truly feel calm and relaxed again.

In the evening there was nothing better than spending a bit of time cuddled up together in front of the television. To me it wasn’t really important what was on. It was just being close together that mattered. I so miss that now, as I sit evening after evening on my own.

A lot of our time was spent doing things together and even more so during the last eleven months as we had both retired from our full-time jobs. Even after thirty seven years he would still hold my hand as we walked through our local town. There were hugs when one or other of us was going out and hugs when we arrived home again, hugs before we went to sleep, hugs when we woke up and hugs because we just happened to be in the same place in the house. I was always eager to get home to him after a day’s teaching or whatever else I had been doing. If I was the one left at home and he was out then I would look forward to his return. He made me feel safe and loved and believed in me even when I didn’t believe in myself. It’s unbearable to think that I will never feel his arms around me again.